So drunk its hurt
We named our party play list daddy issues
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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