yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
