Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
