i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Randomize
