I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you will always have a special place in my vag
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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