I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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