we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
