i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
