my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
