You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
