last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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