so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
