Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
