Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
lets start a swedish sibling band together
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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