I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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