what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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