Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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