I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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