can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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