i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
