i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
