I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
MIDGETS
????
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
