He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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