I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
