college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
