I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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