when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
