i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize