so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
