This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
