It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
