I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
