I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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