Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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