I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
