Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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