Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
