We're facebook friends in real life
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
