yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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