I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
