Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
