The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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