I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
