After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
