So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
