The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
