Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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