Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
