Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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