you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
ok first of all what the fuck
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
