TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
