I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
