I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
