I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
