we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
