I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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