found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
