You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
