CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize