maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
