I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
