you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
