i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Two words: nipple clamps
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