it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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