I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
