he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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